Safety in a new world

Nurturing a new nervous system to improve infant mental health and health through the lifespan

A RESOURCE GUIDE FOR NEW CAREGIVERS  

WHO IS THIS FOR?

This body of work is designed for expectant parents, new parents and the helping professions that serve them - midwives, doulas, gynecologists and obstetric doctors and nurses, counselors and marriage and family therapists.

For better or worse, parents negatively impact their child more than any other relationship, with mothers perpetuating a potentially negative influence up to 70% of the time, and it could be happening with or without consciousness awareness. So knowledge and knowing is power. We offer this as a tool to promote prevention for all parents who do want to do their best job raising their children in the best possible early conditions.

Health through the life span starts with well-being in early development

The WHO reports that over a twenty-three year period, the prevalence of mental health disorders increased by 50%, and in 2019 roughly 970 million people, or one in eight people, are living with a mental disorder, especially anxiety and depressive disorders which rose significantly because of the COVID-19 pandemic (World Health Organization, 2022) and many of these individuals lack access to effective care.

It is easy to blame a global pandemic for causing so many more mental health problems but that is just one culprit. Other factors also play a role in the development of mental health disorders and illness. Based on findings from the World Health Organization (2024) and National Center for Biotechnology Information (2007), this includes, but is not limited to:

  • Biological factors like genetics

  • Environmental conditions like toxin exposure

  • Social factors like losing a parent by loss or separation

  • Mental illness of parents, especially the mother

  • Criminality of parents

  • Family constellation

  • Parental/Caregiver relationship quality

  • Overall stress level of the home

  • Economic security

  • Exposure to violence

  • Outright abuse and neglect

We propose that instead of waiting for infants to exhibit signs of a mental health issue, we take a more proactive approach and create brain-based psychological interventions for expectant parents For you, as you Foster the thriving future generations.

Are you ready to care for a new nervous system?

Even the best intentioned adults enter parenthood without truly understanding the significance of interactions with a tiny human nor asking themselves – I wonder if I am treating my child in such a way as to cause heart disease … obesity … depression?

This is no surprise given that this new little human can do exactly three things especially in its first few weeks and months of life : eat, cry and relieve themselves on an all too regular basis. They are messy, stinky and they do not “care” how their caregiver feels as long as their needs are being met, but new research on infant neurobiology tells a slightly different story at least when it comes to “caring”.

This is important, because during those first few weeks of caregiving, the caregivers themselves are quickly burned out from late night feedings, constant diaper changes, and if you live in the United States, needing to return back to work sometimes as soon as six weeks after giving birth, which is nearly 55% of women (Falletta et al., 2020).

Combine this with the potential for varying levels of mental health on the part of the parent even before baby is even born, and/or the onset of post-partum depression after, especially for the primary caregiver, as well as overall infant temperament, and we can have a stew of less than ideal circumstances brewing. A stew that quickly leads to family burnout.

While babies might look like a blob of breastmilk and poop, requiring your constant attention, it is during this first year of life when a child is literally set up for success for “social, emotional and cognitive outcomes” (Bartram et al., 2015) later in life. We believe that with the right brain-based guidance and tools, parents and babies can thrive right from the start.

“One leading researcher of child development has called for the adoption of a biodevelopmental framework for understanding disparities in health learning and behavior that could be used to guide research and policy (Shonkoff, 2010). This framework suggests that much of the adult disease observed, and previously thought to originate as products of adult behaviors are better viewed as processes originating in childhood or even in prenatal development (Shonkoff, Boyce & McEwen, 2009).”

(Fine & Sung, 2014, p. 524)

First, the basics

So how do you set your child up for success? One thing that has been found across nearly all cultures is the importance of early attachment quality (Cassidey et al., 2013) and in this body of work we are going to introduce you to and explore Attachment Theory, and it’s significance to raising your new baby. This is a theory that has been evolving and expanding since John Bowlby’s initial research began during World War II (Bretherton, 1992).

We will outline the following core concepts:

  • What is attachment theory?

  • Why it matters to child development?

  • The Four Stages of Attachment

  • Four type of attachment styles?

  • Diagnostic Criteria for “Secure Attachment”

What is attachment theory

What is attachment theory

In addition to maternal mental health, there are several other factors that can influence attachment:

  • Pre and postnatal processes

  • Neurological function

  • Hormone function

  • Genetic transfer

  • Gender

  • Temperament and Mood

  • Motor function

  • Cognitive functions

  • Parents health states especially mental health on the part of mothers (Risi et al., 2021)

  • Family Systems Dynamics

  • Socio cultural values

Not all of them are within our control but the actions parents take toward secure attachment is.

Attachment is a small word that describes multiple potential physical and psychological conditions and comorbidities and other behaviors reflected in The Diagnostic and Classification of Mental Health and Developmental Disorders of Infancy and Early Childhood (DC:0-5) (2016) which focuses on mental health and development from zero to three years old. Attachment quality is connected to at least seven areas of development, although ongoing research is continuing to confirm, expand and add to this. It includes:

1.    Infant mental health (Trombetta et al. 2021),

2.    Child psychopathology (Trombetta et al. 2021),

3.    Neurobiology (Trombetta et al. 2021),

4.    Health and Immune (Trombetta et al. 2021),

5.    Personal Characteristics like empathy, compassion, altruism (Cassidy et al., 2013), sensitivity, acceptance, cooperation and accessibility (Trombetta et al. 2021),

6.    School readiness (Trombetta et al. 2021),

7.    Culture (Trombetta et al. 2021).

Insecure attachment can also lead to a host of physical and psychological health disorders throughout lifespan, including:

  • Psychosis (Jack & Wilson, 2022)

  • ADHD and other Behavior Problems (Batram et al., 2015)

  • Personality Disorders  (Batram et al., 2015)

  • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (Batram et al., 2015)

  • Disassociation (Batram et al., 2015)

  • Reactive attachment disorder (Lehman & Jegtvig, 2004, American Psychiatric Association, 2013).

  • Disinhibited social engagement disorder (American Psychiatric Association, 2013).

  • Lowered academic achievement (Batram et al., 2015) \

Attachment in infancy impacts what is referred to internal working models (Cassidy et al., 2013) of the babies sense of self and environment, of which caregiving environment is the most important since babies are fragile and totally dependent on others in the first several years of life (Winberg, 2005)

This project is designed to promote education and prevention of attachment related disorders and empower parents to understand the steps they can take to prevent THESE disorders, as well as arm the helping professionalS who serve them, especially since infant mental health is so infrequently addressed outside of the context of basic pediatrician visits.

Attachment is based on an internal working model that includes three areas (Holmes, 2014)

  1. The proximity to the preferred caretaker

  2. The sense of safety and security that caretaker can provide

  3. Separation protest from that caretaker which starts to develop between six and seven months old.

Both the attachment quality and nature of the separation inform the attachment style that may be assigned to children and parents.

Attachment is monotropic in nature, so that while children may eventually create attachments to multiple people, the initial attachment is with one person. This initial relationship is the most important to attachment both in infancy as well as informing future attachment patterns.

Attachment is also cross-cultural and biologically predetermined (Cassidy et al., 2014) and influenced and facilitated by maternal qualities, especially mental health of the mother or primary caregiver (Risi et al., 2021), and environmental conditions and quality of the family, home and school (Holmes, 2014, p. 39, Figure 2.1).

While attachment should be considered for early development, this initial relationship also creates the building blocks for stress buffering throughout life (Holmes, 2014) and heavily influences cognitive, social and emotional development through the lifespan.

“Bowlby posited that children possess a biological imperative to form attachment relationships with protective caregivers [this is] underpinned by internal representations of the self, world and other, based on the integration between semantic and episodic memory systems (Bowlby, 1969).

It was proposed that Internal Working Models (mental representations of self and other) were foundational for mental and behavioural organisation around relationships with different individuals in different contexts (Bowlby, 1973). It was argued that the development of an attachment bond occurred quickly, by the end of the first year of life, and that this bond was a tie that endured across time and space to protective others whom one turns to at moments of vulnerability (Bowlby, 1969).

It was further identified that disruption to the attachment relationship (e.g. separation and loss) could be associated with significant psychopathology (Bowlby, 1973, 1980). This finding has become well-established in subsequent research (Anda et al., 2006; Trotta et al., 2015; Varese et al., 2012).”

(Jack & Wilson, 2022, p. 1)

Attachment theory is a psychological framework that explains how humans form emotional bonds with others, and in our case in the context of relationships with caregivers during infancy and childhood. Developed by British psychiatrist John Bowlby and expanded by psychologist Mary Ainsworth, the theory emphasizes the importance of early relationships as they inform future cognitive, emotional and social development, and shape health and well-being outcomes through the lifesan, not just in early childhood.(Bretherton, 1992)

The impact of early attachment in development and later in life

Watch this short to see how attachment plays a role in not just early development but also throughout the life span. Source: (MR. BRAIN, 2023)

Why attachment matters

Sense making, Safety and Learning Where We Belong

Attachment quality matters for early brain development as well as long-term cognitive, emotional social development, and may inform adult health through the lifespan (Bartram et al., 2015). Read more on each area below to understand how attachment influences your baby now and in the future.

  • Attachment quality has a big impact on multiple areas of cognitive development including:

    1. Brain Development especially in the prefrontal cortex (involved in planning and decision making and hippocampus involve in memory and learning.

    2. Exploration and Curiosity because a secure base is established with the primary “secure” caregiver.

    3. Language Development because children are more likely to engage in meaningful interactions with caregivers which can promote vocabulary growth and linguistic skills.

    4. Executive Functioning is impacted by secure attachment because it influences cognitive processes like self-regulation, working memory and cognitive flexibility, the absence of such skills can lead to increased stress.

    5. Stress Regulation is influenced by secure attachment because it helps children develop a stronger base for resiliency because they come to see the world as more secure, and they have a reliable secure base to return to. It can help children learn to regulate stress better promoting optimal functioning of the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis.

    6. Learning Environment and Academic Success is influenced by secure attachment because securely attachment children tend to approach school with more confidence, persistence and a sense of security in their abilities for better academic outcomes, versus insecure attachment which can manifest as anxiety, isolation, and withdrawal  which can hinder focus, enthusiasm, participation and overall learning experiences and outcomes.

    7. Cognitive Development is impacted by adverse attachment styles because it can lead to an increase in stress hormones like cortisol which negatively affect brain development, as well as disruptions in the HPA-axis which can lead to long-term health disruptions and impair cognitive development such as memory and attention, which can also lead to difficulty concentrating, learning disabilities, or delays in cognitive milestones.

    Broderick & Blewitt, 2020, Bartram, et al., 2015, Miller, 2010).

  • Attachment significantly influences emotional development by shaping how individuals understand, express, and regulate their emotions. Early attachment experiences with caregivers provide the foundation for emotional resilience, self-esteem, and the capacity to form healthy relationships later in life.

    1.     Emotional Awareness is influencedby secure attachment as a result of primary caregivers creating a safe space for children to explore and understand their own emotions, their emotions are welcome and explored in a secure environment. This can also help develop emotional literacy, awareness and intelligence.

    2.     Emotional Regulation is positively influenced by secure attachment because  sense of trust has been established with the primary caregiver which influences positive emotional awareness and regulation learning such skills as self-soothing, emotional balance, and coping skills for stressful situations as opposed to insecure attachment which can lead to heightened emotional reactivity, difficulty soothing and emotional suppression.

    3.     Emotional Expression from secure attachment encourages healthy emotional expression, where children feel safe to share their feelings without fear of rejection or judgment otherwise children withdraw or may exaggerate their emotional displays to gain attention and responses from caregivers.

    4.     Self-Esteem and Self-Worth is heighted in children with secure attachment because they have internalized a positive sense of self-worth from consistent validation and support of their primary caregivers, there is less reliance on external validation and higher self-esteem.

    5.     Empathy can also be fostered through secure attachment which improves interpersonal relationships as children learn to experience, understand and offer compassion and care to others and their emotions, which helps become more effective at navigating conflict and building meaningful relationships.

    6.     Stress Management and Resiliency is more effective with secure attachment because securely attached children have developed more coping and stress management skills, emotional awareness and resilience, and there is less likelihood of anxiety and other forms of emotional dysregulation through adversity, so children can more easily bounce back from adversity.

    (Broderick & Blewitt, 2020, Bartram, et al., 2015, Miller, 2010).

  • Attachment quality has a big impact on social development as well influencing trust, relationships, friendships and social interactions in many ways.

    1. Building Trust and Forming Relationships is easier when secure attachment is present because that is the nature of the early relationships, children learn that relationship can be dependable and will be more confident entering into interpersonal relationships and social interactions..

    2. Social Skill development is improved with secure attachment because exploration is encouraged, and secure children are more likely to explore skills like cooperation, sharing and communication, and navigate social ruptures with more ease, as well have more positive peer relationships. As noted earlier, empathy is also more common which improves peer-peer relationship. Children also develop the ability to more accurately perceive, interpret and respond to social cues, which is essential for understanding others’ perspectives (theory of mind).

    3. Conflict Resolution and Cooperation is easier with secure attachment because they have confidence and comfort engaging with skills like negotiation, compromise, and are more solution oriented in social situations, there is no need to avoid conflict or confrontations or dropping into isolation or overly emotional states because of an inability to express oneself.

    4. Peer Relationships are improved overall because they are better liked by their peer, seek our more peer-peer relationships and exhibit pro-social behavior and emotional stability. Secure children may also be more prone to leadership and taking on leadership roles in their peer groups and be more likely to participate in group activities.

    5.Social Exploration becomes easier with secure attachment because children have learned it is safe to take risks and explore life because the secure base is always there, this includes new social situations, and engaging with diverse groups of people and experiences, otherwise there may be a tendency to rigid thinking and rigid social constructs that lack diversity.

    6.  Impact on lifelong Relationships are influenced by attachment patterns in early childhood and can influence friendships, partnerships and romantic relationships.

    (Broderick & Blewitt, 2020, Bartram, et al., 2015, Miller, 2010).

Four stages of attachment

Now we want to introduce you to the finer science of Attachment Theory. Let’s start by helping you understand the four stages of attachment that have been identified through empirical research. These stages are outlined below and taken from the work of McLoed (2023) and Holmes (2014). In the first stage don’t let semantics fool you, even though infants are indiscriminate about who cares for them, they are leaning, and quickly, (Trodnick & Beeghly, 2011) and your sensitive responsiveness is impacting their mental health.

Four types of attachment

Based on empirical research four attachment styles have been identified and outlined below from the work of Cherry (2023) and Broderick & Blewitt (2020). Read more below.

  • Children who can depend on their caregivers show distress when separated and joy when reunited. Although the child may be upset, they feel assured that the caregiver will return. When frightened, securely attached children are comfortable seeking reassurance from caregivers. This is the most common attachment style.

  • Description text goes here

  • Children with an avoidant attachment tend to avoid parents or caregivers, showing no preference between a caregiver and a complete stranger. This attachment style might be a result of abusive or neglectful caregivers. Children who are punished for relying on a caregiver will learn to avoid seeking help in the future.

  • These children display a confusing mix of behavior, seeming disoriented, dazed, or confused. They may avoid or resist the parent. Lack of a clear attachment pattern is likely linked to inconsistent caregiver behavior. In such cases, parents may serve as both a source of comfort and fear, leading to disorganized behavior.

So what are We helping you create?

The ideal style is secure attachment

From a diagnostic perspective we want this information to to help you create the ideal conditions for secure attachment which can help parents avoid infant and toddler mental health conditions. Most importantly, when caregivers attune themselves to infant needs, the resulting healthy attachment can help children avoid early adversity and trauma.

We can identify secure attachment through observable behaviors including the following from Broderick & Blewin (2020):

  • Clearly demonstrating a preference for caregivers over time

  • Clear distressed response upon separation from caregiver

  • Seeks contact when stressed

  • Sense of confidence in predictable care from the caregiver

Based on extensive empirical research the ideal attachment style is secure attachment. The primary determinant of secure attachment will include these three areas (Cassidy et al., 2013):

  1. A secure base

  2. haven of safety

  3. secure base script

We will talk more about each of these below.

Secure base

The secure base refers to the sense of safety and stability provided by an attachment figure (e.g., a caregiver or close partner) that allows an individual to explore the world with confidence. When thinking about children and parenting, the primary caregiver acts as a secure base by being available, responsive, and emotionally supportive. This gives the child the confidence to explore their environment, try new things, and take risks, knowing they can return to the caregiver for comfort and reassurance (Cassidy et al., 2013)

haven of safety

The haven of safety (or security) describes the role of an attachment figure in providing comfort and protection during times of distress, fear, or uncertainty.

When it comes to parenting and children, this means that caregivers act as a haven of safety when the child experiences fear, pain, or discomfort, helping them regulate their emotions and feel secure (Cassidy et al., 2013).

secure base script

The secure base script is a mental framework or "storyline" that individuals develop based on repeated experiences with their attachment figures. it also means that the caregiver needs to offer consistency in responding to needs. Even with infancy, parents can being to model through sensitive parenting and consistent responses. It sets expectations about how relationships work and what they can expect from others in times of need. Over time children will acknowledge the distress and may gain help to name it, they will actively seek help, they will allow themselves to receive support and this teaches and reinforces confidence which can lead to greater resilience and re-energizes them to re-engage with the world (Cassidy et al., 2013). Keep in mind that this script can happen even before your baby has language skills ass babies know their mothers voice almost immediately at birth (Windberg, 2005).

THE Attachment Behavioral System (holmes, 2014)

This process flow offers great guidelines to evaluate attachment between yourself and your baby. Ask yourself these questions to determine if you are in the “yes zone” where a baby feels felt security, love, and self-confidence:

  • Are you as the parent sufficiently near, responsive and attuned to your baby?

  • Is your baby playful, smiling, exploratory and sociable?

(Holmes, 2014, p. 62 Figure 3.1)

Internal Working Models (Jack & Wilson, 2022)

This diagram below shows how attachment quality can contribute to multiple internal working models - how one sees themselves. These internal working model impact impact both self-esteem (relationships with self) and sociability (relationship with others). Notice the Positive (Low) attributes compared to the Negative (High) Attributes) t reinforce why early attachment quality matters significantly not just to that first year of life but also your child’s self-perception and ability to effectively engage in the social engagement system of life.

(Figure 2. Bartholomew and Horowitz Model of Adult Attachment (from Korver-Nieberg et al. 2014), as cited by Jack & Wilson, 2022, )

the psychology and neuroscience of attachment

Now that you know what we are working toward we want to help you get there. We are going to do this by going back to the concept that your new baby is a new nervous system and by introducing you to five interrelated areas of infant-caregiver attachment and early human development. Within each section we will also provide a clear suggestion for an ACTION ITEM that parents can pursue to promote secure attachment in their infants and toddlers.

  • Polyvagal Theory

  • MaterNal Mental Health

  • Parental Attachment STyle

  • Infant NeurobiologY

  • Interpersonal neurobiology

  • Coregulation

polyvagal theory

Polyvagal Theory is a new way of thinking about the human nervous system, in particular the autonomic nervous system which regulates basic tasks like breathing, as well as more complex tasks like responding to our environment. You might be familiar with the concepts of “rest and digest” or “fight or flight” (Porges, 2009). It also describes the existence of a universal social engagement system and our ability to connect with it feel safe in the world (Porges, 2009).

The implications of understanding Polyvagal Theory is far reaching. First, it can give you compassion for your new baby and help you understand that this is a new human, in a new environment, who’s nervous system is adjusting to this new world. They are not being “naughty” nor is there any intention behind their actions except the most primal desire to survive in a world where everything is new.

This tool can also be a helpful reference for self-awareness for parents.

Using Polyvagal Theory as a guide, therapist, Deb Dana, developed the Autonomic Ladder (n.d) as a self-reflection tool to help adults understand where they land on the ladder, which does change depending on environmental conditions. Ideally parents want to stay in the “green zone” of ventral vagal state where they are safe, secure, connected and regulated and in turn they will be able to support that state in their baby - we will talk more about that soon!

It is easy to drop into reduced states of regulation like the “sympathetic state” especially as a result of infant temperament. Mothers with preexisting mental health challenges or post natal “baby blues” may be more easily burned out by the constant need to care for another (Risi et al, 2021).

Dorsal vagal shut down is the most concerning and should be cause for alarm, added support, or more significant interventions from medical and mental health professionals to avoid “injury” to mother and baby.

PARENT ACTION ITEMS

Download the FREE tool and learn how to assess your own autonomic nervous system.

Maternal mental health

Maternal mental health is a term used to describe the mental well-being of a person who is pregnant or postpartum. It includes a range of conditions that can occur during pregnancy or in the first year after giving birth. It has a big impact on attachment quality yet is one of the least globally screened for characteristics when it comes to maternal health especially prenatally. But it has a big impact on infant mental health, especially with conditions like depression, in the immediate and in health outcomes later in life and help determine attachment as well as emotional, social, and cognitive health. We’ve provided a quick link to a self-assessment but you should always consult the appropriate licensed health care and/or mental health provider.

PARENT ACTION ITEMS

Follow the guidelines of organizations like Postpartum Support International to assess maternal mental health early on. 2016 recommendations include specific timing for assessments and could include

  • First prenatal visit

  • At least once in second trimester

  • At least once in third trimester

  • Six-week postpartum obstetrical visit (or at first postpartum visit)

  • Repeated screening at 6 and/or 12 months in OB and primary care settings

  • 3, 9, and 12 month pediatric visits

Parental attachment style

Studies show a relationship between maternal attachment style and parenting stress. There is a bidirectional correlation between the two and both impact the mother-infant bond that develops and ultimately supports the secure attachment of this new, young life and nervous system.

You can work with psychological professional to conduct thorough psychological testing of your attachment style, but there are also free online resources to help you get started to learn more about your personal attachment style.

The Attachment Project (2020) has developed an online quiz for this purpose. It may be helpful to take this quiz to learn your attachment style and understand how it might inform your parenting.

PARENT ACTION ITEMS

Take the Online Attachment Style Quiz

Infant neurobiology & Brain development

Infant neurobiology is the study of the how the infant brain develops in both structure and function with particular attention on early interactions through relational experiences and interactions with caregivers (Siegel, 2021). These early interactions shape their future cognitive, emotional, and social development. This offers a compass to guide interventions when we better understand how a baby's brain learns and adapts during the early stages of life (Blewitt & Broderick, 2020). Despite the primitive appearance of your newborn infant, their brain is anything but primitive and every interaction one has with their infant, especially as a primary caregiver, shapes their health and development in the short and long term.

PARENT ACTION ITEMS

Read The Neurobiology of Attachment, Dan Siegel

interpersonaL neurobiology

Now lets dive a little deeper into Interpersonal Neurobiology a framework developed by psychiatrist, Dr. Dan Siegel (Siegel, 2021), an expert in child development. Interpersonal Neurobiology aka IPNB, is an interdisciplinary field that explores how relationships and the brain influence each other, emphasizing the integration of mind, brain, and social connections and integrating insights from neuroscience, psychology, sociology, and other disciplines to understand how interpersonal experiences shape our brain structure and mental processes throughout life - but especially in the early years. This process is so important to the developing mind of an infant! Check out this short video to learn more.

PARENT ACTION ITEMS

Get “Nerdy” with me and download Dr. Siegel’s article on the topic to learn even more (Siegel, D. (2001)!

coregulation

Lastly, we want to introduce you to the concept of co-regulation, where caregiver and infant/baby/toddler/child can develop a deep bond that promotes co-regulation. Psychiatrist Dr. Kurt Thompson says self-regulation is not possible without first learning co-regulation, in his book Anatomy of the Soul. It is an important reminder that your self-regulation impacts and influences your child’s long term self- regulation and you can help your child co-regulate as they learn this. Check out this short video about co-regulation and have a pen and paper handy for some great tips! This begins immediately after birth (Winberg, 2005).

PARENT ACTION ITEMS

Download the Zones of Regulation Cheat Sheet (Lakeside Nursery and Primary Academy, 2021)

so how do we get there?

Now that you’ve learned some of the psychology and neuroscience for brain-based parenting we want to give you some evidence-based strategies to form a secure attachment with your new baby. These strategies support a healthy bond from the moment they are born, to support co-regulation, and provide the ideal conditions for your baby, their brain, and their nervous system to thrive so they can be healthier and happier, not just as infants and babies, but remember you are also setting them up for success throughout the entire lifespan.

steps to support secure attachment in infancy

Now it is time for us to reveal the main suggestions that you can use as a new parent to create the ideal environment for secure attachment. The trend you will see in these evidence-based recommendations is it involves sensitive parenting. Sensitive parenting is a term used to describe the descriptive nature of the primary caregiver to their baby. Caregivers who are neglectful or withdrawn can negatively impact the child through circuitry systems like the HPA-Axis (Schechter, 2012) and this may be more prominent for women with depression (Broderick & Blewitt, 2021) which is why maternal mental health has been introduced earlier.

Keep in mind that “attachment” does not mean “attached” 24-7, think of it more as consistent sensitive and responsive.

Responsive parenting means that are you present and responsive to the needs of your child especially in early months when your baby is crying. This involves being consistently responsive and starting to attune to the different ways your baby is communicating with you. It includes actions like regular eye contact, using a soft and reassuring tones, and gentle touch. All of these activities help your baby with sense-making as he/she and their nervous system learn this new world (Tronick & Beeghly, 2011).

creating a secure base

The secure base is the foundation for secure attachment, coined by Mary Ainsworth to describe to role of the primary caregiver aka “attachment provider” (Holmes, 2014, p. 56) and the growing sense of safety that comes with a person. This can begin immediately after birth with skin to skin contact with the baby (Winberg, 2005).

Predictable daily routines

One way to create a secure base is to create routines in your day, even when your child is a baby. This predictability can create safety and security for your growing child (Dosman et al., 2023). Even starting as young as 6 months you can begin to use a seperation routine if you are sending your child to day care to help “develop separation security” (Dosman et al., 2023).

feeding on demand

Instead of expecting your infant to eat when you want them to, learn to respond to their own needs for hunger, if breastfeeding especially the tip of breastfeeding on demand both day and night can promote secure attachment as are considerations of child-lead weaning (Miller & Commons, 2010).

Co-Sleeping

Co-sleeping is a practice that has been used for centuries, and while still controversial in the US, it offers remarkable benefits to support secure attachment including on-demand feeding, greater co-regulation between mother and infant that may even minimize the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, and infants naturally learn to self-regulate its physiological functions (Miller & Commons, 2010)

physical contact

To create that secure base tender holding and touching is vital, but unfortunately in the US babies are held about 45% of the time until about age 4 months, then only 20% of the time by 10 months as babies are relegated to contraptions like car seats. When you hold your infant it reduces crying, which reduces stress on the nervous system. In one study a mother who held their infant 1.8 hours more day result3ed in. 43% reduction in crying (Miller & Commons, 2010).

sleep on demand

Like feeding on demand, consider sleep on demand. if your baby is tired let it sleep. This creates conditions for a more authoritative parenting style which has shown to be extremely effective because it creates a more “positive emotional client” (Broderick & Blewitt, 2021) while promoting autonomy and individuality.

Sensitive Parenting in action

Now, we want to give you a real world example from Broderick & Blewitt (2021, p. 144) to demonstrate what sensitive parenting looks like and to help guide your own actions toward sensitive parenting with your baby.

sensitive parenting example #1

"A highly sensitive mother identifies the components of the bath that her infant finds aversive and attenuates their negative consequences. She prepares the bath in such a way that the water is warm and sufficiently covering the body. She removes clothing and applies soap gently, so the infant is not overly stimulated. She skillfully maneuvers the necessarily invasive washing of the face, particularly around the eyes. She prepares the clothing before application by readying the sleeves and opening the neck widely, to minimize pulling and tugging. This style of maternal caregiving may be 'optimal' simply because it prevents infant discomfort, eliminating the need for the infant to mount a defensive response while being cared for. Mother is protecting the infant's comfort in nuanced, subtle, and remarkably ordinary ways." (p. 150)

sensitive parenting example #2

"Take, for instance, undressing the infant prior to preparing the bath. This is not what most might consider an egregious parenting error. It is not abusive or neglectful. Yet, we have observed that the impact on quality of MCB can be considerable: The freshly disrobed infant is held with one arm as mother fills the bath and gathers supplies. Across this task, mother's arm becomes strained by the infant, and she shifts him awkwardly and frequently. The exposed infant is challenged by the chill of room temperature, and he squirms and cries. Mother's arm is further taxed by the aroused infant; her holding becomes less accommodating. Placement in the bath is more abrupt as mother is eager to free her arm. The infant's response to the water is more dramatic than it might have been, because his own body temperature has cooled, increasing the saliency of the water's warmth." (p. 151)

Want to Learn Even More? Check Out these Website Resources

We want to leave you with an important thing to keep in mind. Every parent and every baby is unique. There are factors beyond your control that will also influence attachment. It is important to work with the appropriate medical and mental health professionals to meet the needs of you and your unique child. THis could include your pediatrician, mental health provider, Occupational Therapist, Lactation Consultant, Doula, Midwife and more. please be sure to access the right resources for your unique needs.

References

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